definitely bad news after a good one

Haha! I woke up late today. Slept late, that's why. Not to mention, my hand has a mind of its own. Must have turned off the alarm clock. I can't find any other reason why I would be springing out of my bed (quite literally) at 7.50 am and subsequently reprimanded by BD, along with the others.
Thank god for 'herd immunity'!! This shows I really did learn something frm BD's lectures, eh?

He was all: "You should respect the lecturer, other students blah blah blah. I live north of the river, and I could be on time blah blah blah. You are all adults. Wake up early blah blah blah."

I felt like standing up and say it to his face: "At least we made an effort to get here and attend your lecture. We show up today, and that means we respect both you and the subject." But on second thought, I suppressed that desire to refute him. He was handing out our midsem papers, you see. Don't want to give a horrible impression in a test feedback session. :S

Hey ho! I got a decent mark for Immuno, all thanks to good old McWilliam. He was pretty lenient in marking. I am sure I passed this one. But then, I thought of Mol Pharm...

Ah well, I have gotten myself prepared to fail that one. Let's keep our minds focused on Primary Care and Pharmaceutical Analysis, shall we?

p/s: posted this on Xian Ni's blog by accident. I managed to delete it. Phew~~

I am Flow, Dilatant Flow.

I want to be a dilatant flow material, that becomes more and more viscous as more shearing stress is applied.

Okay, all the three tests before this SUCK! Or more like, I sucked in them.

I know, I haven't done much studying prior to sitting for the tests. And logically, I shouldn't be expecting much. In fact, I am priming myself for the fact that I am going to fail Immuno and Mol Pharm, with Mol Pharm being a definite fail because I didn't even complete half of the paper. >: (

Anyway, with that in mind, I just want to move forward. I think it is okay to cry a while, but not for too long. I cried for like 10 minutes when I found out my Pharmaceutics marks. And then, all the sadness was quickly watered down. I kept telling myself: "Hey, you shouldn't expect too much. You reap what you sow."

So what if I screwed the first half of the semester? There is still another half. I can change what has yet to happen, right? So cliche... I know. But I want to believe in them.

Sei Ngan Mui (Four-eyed Gal)

Yup! That's me - soon, anyway. Got my eyes checked at the optometrist this afternoon. It's official that I have to wear specs. Will get my specs on Monday.

Holidays may be boring and annoying, BUT...

I LOVE IT.

Ahaha. I discover that having a retiree for a Dad can be really annoying. Dad has this habit of waking up almost every hour after 1am to give me a stern warning: "Please organise your time well, ah." or "What time are you going to bed?" or he would just sit at the stairs and stare at me for a loooooog time, just to make me sleep early. Heck, I really want to be defiant once in a while and just let him stare at me and my lappie as long as he wants, for all I care. But my softie heart insists that I shouldn't treat Dad that way and so I promptly go into my room, and..... can you guess it? Continue watching anime/Jap drama! Genius, ain't I? But Dad figures out my trick soon enough and sometimes he turns a blind eye to the whole situation.

Mimmy has a slightly different tactic. She usually doesn't care if we sleep late but there is always an occasional day when she is slightly more concerned (I wonder why is that?). She would prick my conscience, by sitting around near me, possibly yawning, while I am doing my thing (watching anime). Then, I would just give up and say: "Okay, let's just go up, shall we?"

And concerning breakfast.... with pulling late nights every single day, it is only normal for me to sleep in. Hence, I cannot join my family for breakfasts at kopitiam every morning at 9am, because I would be in deep REM sleep at the moment. Dad, knowing that, never fails to ask me: "Will you join me for breakfast tomorrow?" Sometimes, I would hesitate for a few seconds, "Errr...." or just be silent. By then, Dad would say, "Oh well! I guess it is a negative answer again."

"Why must you ask me the same question every single day, knowing what my answer will be?" I once asked.

"I will continue asking until there comes a day when you shall join me for breakfast," Dad replied, with a mischievous grin. Okay, maybe I am exaggerating a little about the 'mischievous grin'.

Me and my parents - battling each other in a psychological war every single day.
It is Boring. Routine. Annoying (with a capital A). But at the same time, Amusing.

My parents never cease to amaze me!

Old Journal

I rediscovered my old journal, tucked carefully under the clothes in the cupboard. I never thought that it would survive Mom's massive cleaning sprees. It seemed to me that she had helped me save that precious little book of mine.

In the beginning, the journal wasn't meant to be one. It was supposed to be a St. John's Ambulance book, detailing all the songs and rules that members have to abide to. But I ceased to be a member once I graduated from primary school and the book somehow, along the way, became my journal. I poured my hopes, despair and various feelings into it. It absorbed my tears. I doodled in it. My Dad once used it as his Sudoku book. My brother sketched images of robots and dragons in its pages. =.=lll

All in all, it has been with me for the past 9 years - an amazing feat for someone who has a knack for losing things.

This is a Malay sajak I wrote in the journal back when I was 17. Go ahead and laugh if you want to.

Nampakkah engkau
diriku yang sebenar
di sebalik topeng bermuka gembira
senyuman yang palsu
sinar mata yang mengaburi
realiti
Pandanganmu kabur sahaja
matamu terlalu memilih
mungkin telah hampir buta
Di antara engkau dan aku
ada satu
dinding kaca yang kabur
lihatlah dengan teliti
perasaan hatiku
Nampakkah engkau
sekarang?

I just realised that I haven't slept in ever since I came back from Perth. At 8.15 am sharp every day, my mother and father would drag me to breakfast at their favourite kopitiam.

This morning, I got my hair cut. Haha, sorry to friends who have yet to see my long hair. It is now non-existent! Not that I mind anyway...

And I checked my results in Oasis - I PASSED! I am not as happy as last semester, but I think that is because I am less worried this time around. I did what I could during the exams, and I told myself to accept reality, regardless of the results.

To my beautiful and hardworking Yuin-cheh, GOOD LUCK and ALL THE BEST in your finals! I love you always and always. Can't wait to meet you!

Going Home

2 more days and I will be home. I am not as excited as I should be, because I am fretting about storage and packing things all the time.

Finally, I am sitting on a bed that is without any covers or blankets, in a room almost devoid of my personal belongings. Currently, my stuffs are all in the living room, waiting to be moved to my friend’s house (I don’t know where it is, so I just have to wait for my friends to come by).

I will miss this room a lot. 10 months of familiarity and routine are not easily forgotten, you know. I do hope I will return to the same place next year, but things are very hard to predict.

I am anxious about going back. Will there be drastic changes at home? Will everyone still look the same and act the same? Will I still be able to recognise the scenes and landmarks of the highways I used to travel on?

Edit: Got my books and other miscellanous items to my housemate's new home. I hate this helpless feeling when I have to depend on others. But I couldn't be more thankful for their help. Thanks Amy, Kevyn and Ranekha.

It's 3 in the Morning, and the Coffee is Working, But...

I just don't have the mood to study.
This is not what I had in mind when I drank Nescafe at around 9pm.

Finals is on Monday. And Dad is right. If I cut down on my internet time, I might just have enough time to revise everything... NOT.

I seriously need to swear off the net, this blog and Facebook included.

Update

I am grateful for the marks I get for all my assessments so far. Now I have to work doubly hard for the upcoming finals.

I am missing my family and friends dearly - every single day. Can't say every hour, minute and second, though because I would lying if I said that. I miss having you guys to talk to just about everything and anything under the sun. I miss getting big bear hugs from you guys, hanging out with you guys. >_<

I had already registered my name for the supplementary exam overseas. Hopefully this effort of mine will be wasted, because I really want to pass finals with flying colours. No supp, please!

Winging Things

Shelley (my Pharmaceutics lecturer) said that there are two types of students in the lab. One is the ‘happy-go-lucky’ type and the other ‘studious, serious’ type.


Well, I want to be the ‘happy-go-lucky’ one. Why? Because I feel like ‘winging’ every single practical exam and theory test to come. :S

I think I am ‘winging’ things now anyway, since I hardly study (example: I should be studying for Friday’s Pharmaceutics calculation test but I am writing this!).

And the School of Pharmacy has already sent us emails this afternoon, requesting us to register for overseas supplementary exams (if we want to) BEFORE we even sit for the exams. What the heck. I got a huge shock and a huge dilemma. Should I register or should I not? I haven’t even seen the exam papers yet! How is it possible for them to ask us to REGISTER for SUPPLEMENTARY EXAMS now? It is like a bad omen!!!

Sigh. But judging from my condition now, I think I should. At least, my dad thinks I should – as a precautionary measure. Who the hell wants to spend over a thousand dollars on a plane ticket just to take supp in Perth when I can do it in Subang Jaya, right? RIGHT??

Anyway, I feel like I am high on caffeine.... that is why I am writing crazy stuff like this when I should be studying.

Lab Manual, Willpower and Other Stuff

Phew! I have finally completed chemistry lab manual! It is not part of the assessment for Pharm Chem, but definitely an integral study material for tomorrow’s lab theory test. Sigh. That is exactly why I had been scrambling to complete everything – plotting the graphs, doing the calculations etc. Trust me to put things off until the very last minute (test is 8am tomorrow). :P


Anyway, I have proved to myself that I could commit myself to studying the whole day if I wanted to. It is all about sheer willpower! (I am talking like Naruto already.) For me, willpower and determination will kick in 24 hours prior to exams.

The coming two weeks will be super busy with various assessments – prac exams, lab tests, computing test etc. Talk about crazy. All lectures are already done and over with, save for Pharm Bio (4 lectures on kidney), Epidemiology and Pharm Chem’s drug solubility lectures. Thank god for all the empty lecture slots. I definitely need more time to study. :(

Everyone, let’s work hard (and smart!) for the coming exams!

GO! GO! FIGHT!