NO REPRIEVE

FREAKING HATE MY BRAIN.

It is enough that I spend more than half of my waking hours at work. Why must work occupy my mind when I am asleep as well?!

I wish I could dream of ghosts, monsters, my Dreamy Pilot Guy or just about anything under the sun/moon, as long as none of them involve people or places or situations from work!

Being strong?

She said: "I cried once in front of my FRP, and after that, no more. One day you will realise that you have changed. You have grown stronger."

He said: "You have to change yourself, to progress in life."

I don't need to change me. I need to improve myself, not change. If being strong means losing parts of myself, or losing this sensitivity, or getting rid of feelings, then I don't want to be strong.

If you don't think sitting here in front of you and talking to you through all these tears equals to strength, then you just don't get me. Just because we had been through similar things doesn't mean we are the same.

Almost three months in and I still haven't completed a single logbook. 

I haven't followed up on my assigned projects. I haven't updated my CPD. 

YS, throw this laziness away! Stop procrastinating!

*Let me rest tonight, and I shall start anew tomorrow.*

Where are you?

We said our goodbyes so quickly, fooling ourselves that we will meet again someday. Perhaps, and perhaps not. We live in the same country still. But how many of us will actually leave work and meet each other again? Some of us, or maybe none.

So where are you? Your Facebook statuses that I look forward to. Your blog posts that I anticipate even though I could hardly read Mandarin. They are gone, and so are you.

I got lost in the daily conundrum of work and life. Maybe you are too. I keep remembering our frequent chats and meets. Your face, your words were what I see each day. Like a lifetime ago. I keep asking myself this:

Where are you?