Friday, February 28, 2014

I want to be 45kg again just to hate myself a little less.

Sunday, February 23, 2014

your words

your words are 
like papercuts 
I don't know existed, 
until much later
when they sting.
the meanings behind them
rise up slowly from my stomach, 
like bile, 
like acid. 
i need to throw them up 
but i can't 
lest anyone else finds out. 
keep it down. keep it down. 
don't let others know 
that i am weak
that your words get to me 
that your words actually 
makes my heart bleed. 

Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Fortune Cookie

I was at my sister's apartment for a housewarming dinner when she handed out fortune cookies to everyone, including me. I knew that I could never hope for good luck. I have never won a lucky draw or anything like that. I don't believe in gambling either. And breaking a cookie to find a 'fortune' is just another form of gambling.

Mine was something along the lines of 'You will come to great accomplishments'. It was written in a tiny slip of paper, encased in a citrus-flavoured pastry. Was I supposed to believe it? Hell, I would like to believe it.

I am going to be twenty-five this year. I am feeling so demotivated. Seeing my sister moving into her own apartment, my brother studying again, my friends still learning in uni... it feels like everyone is doing something worthwhile. For me, it seems like all the fun and good things had ended when uni ended. Everyone is moving forward and I am staying rooted at one spot - physically and mentally.

Is this a quarter-life crisis?

Wednesday, February 5, 2014

First Post of 2014

And I am going to talk about Harry Potter.

So earlier this week, our goddess JKR decided to drop a bomb on us. She said that Hermione/Ron might be a mistake and Harry could be a more suitable match for Hermione. My reaction was: "Really, woman? Should you even say this?"

Because to me, the Harry Potter series is already complete. So, Ms. Rowling, please stop this mess already. I know, as a writer, you would always second-guess yourself. Your books are only 'finished' when you decide them to be. When all the books have already been turned into movies and theme parks and whatnot, you should not ponder over you had written in the past. It is all in the past! Get over it! (I know I am being harsh.)

If there is any pairing in the HP canon that needs work, it is Ginny/Harry. I really cannot see the chemistry, neither in the books nor the movies. To tell you the truth, I haven't read the books since the final one came out. So my memory is a bit blur on this one. But I could remember feeling incredulous that Ginny ends up marrying Harry. Ginny didn't make much of an impression on me. I just couldn't feel their love. Who I have in mind for Harry? LUNA LOVEGOOD.

Where can I begin with this character? First, her name! So beautiful, gorgeous. I like how she is written in the books. She has a quirky personality. She believes in conspiracy theories and outlandish stories (all thanks to her equally eccentric father) despite being mocked by other students, and wears weird accessories. And am I the only one who remembers that Harry has a long, meaningful conversation with Luna after Sirius' death in OotP? Both of them having lost their loved ones (Harry, his godfather and Luna, her mother), talking to one another about death and coming to terms with the reality of it. Luna helps Harry through a tough patch in his life. How can Ms. Rowling throw this wonderful development at us in the fifth book and completely forget that it ever happened in the subsequent books?

Okay, all my angst about Luna/Harry aside, I still think that Hermione and Ron should be together. One, Ms. Rowling has already written the books. So, like I said, IT IS FINISHED. GET OVER IT. Two, what is there not to like about a couple who quarrels so much and yet, find their way into each other's lives? They are classmates who can barely tolerate each other at first, then become friends after fighting a troll in the bathroom. They are friends first, lovers later. It is this development that I am interested in. Their relationship grows organically, unlike Harry's infatuation with Cho - which is more like 'Wham! Bam! Kaboom!'.

Many fans doubted that Ron could make Hermione happy. Hermione is a strong-willed young lady. She knows what she wants and she gets it done. I don't think she will marry someone who she thinks is inappropriate for her. She is obsessed with the perfect grades. Why wouldn't she have a love who is perfect for her? Yeah yeah, so they like to quarrel a little bit and sometimes get on each other's nerves. Aren't we all the same? Love is about accepting the person - both the good and the bad. Yes, even if she is an insufferable know-it-all, even if he sometimes can be a clumsy idiot.

So that is my opinion on the whole question of 'who will Hermione end up with?'. In the end, Hermione and Ron have found their perfect story-book ending together. Luna and her random rock god as well. The pertinent question for us all would be: "Have you found your perfect story-book ending?"