Sunday, March 29, 2009
"The eyes can't see what the mind doesn't know."
-Teoh Shu Ning -
*Now I am going back to my Pharmaceutics compunding record form. Gambatte!*
-Lazy Gal signing off-
Friday, March 27, 2009
My thoughts this week:
1) Got so many reactions from a lot of people on my new Facebook profile photo. What is so wrong about uploading a new one? I was bored of my old photo and at the same time, I was bored of studying biology. So, I decided at the spur of the moment to take a simple photo of myself. Thank you to the people who said it was nice - the photo and also the jacket (owh, thanks Leekuan for that compliment). But the worst had to come from my siblings. Eldest sis said: What's up with acting cute? (To which I replied: Yeah, if I can't be pretty in a photo, at the very least allow me to be cute for once)My lil bro said: Eh, acting cute for what? Sap yuet kai choi ar? (Yeah right, as if any girl would want a reason to look cute. Please allow me to act cute WITHOUT a reason!)
2) Getting annoyed at the fact that I look too young for my age. Lots of people told me that is a good thing. Yeah, true but I want to look matured - well, at least look like a varsity student. Why this got on my mind at the very first place? A housemate told me that when I put on a cap, I look like a manga character and the character is a little girl! Grrr... but on the bright side, she said I have big eyes. :P
3) with the news of Jiamun getting a boyfriend, I start to wonder when my turn will come. Haha... maybe my lil bro's comment on the photo is true after all?
4) Have I really grown? As in mentally and emotionally? Sometimes, I wonder when that feeling of adulthood will come. I have never felt that I am all grown up. I still think I am the same person, just going through different phases of life.
5) What does people think about me? Bad or good? Because I definitely have lots to say about people. But I don't know what to say about myself.
6) PMS. Had that last weekend and yeah, to millions of other girls and women out there, be glad that you have another member in the PMS society. Jiamun predicted that quite accurately when I was in a pretty bad mood. Leekuan predicted mine correctly too, back in Form 5. Amazing how friends can be so in tune to my mood.
-Weird Girl signing off-
Sunday, March 22, 2009
I didn't tell them outright-lah. The feelings are bubbling inside of me.
Sometimes, I like them a lot because they help me a lot with various stuff.
Sometimes, I like talking to them.
But now, I am not so sure.
Probably I am not the most angreeable person to begin with.
It's amazing how a person like me can still live in the society. It's amazing how my parents still love me.
-Twisted Person signing off-
Saturday, March 21, 2009
My family chatted with me on MSN and they said they wanted to send things over to me.
Basic stuff like Nescafe (a substitute of Mom's Malaccan coffee) and Milo (which I don't even drink).
Why? They think they ought to since my birthday is coming.
I honestly don't need anything over here because shops do sell those items, but at a higher price. We don't even have a tradition of giving presents for birthdays. Plus, I insisted that my brithday is just an indication that I am a year older and there's nothing to celebrate. XD
But it's great knowing that my family love me and care for me even though I am far away.
Maybe that's why I don't feel homesick at all (maybe not yet).
Right now, I don't need anything else or anyone else. I am blessed enough.
I would be more blessed if I have eidetic memory to score high marks in exams, but I can't be too greedy, can't I?
Friday, March 20, 2009
Because of tutorials!
Human Bio tutes are often frustrating because I always do not know everything there is to know about bio. I can't answer all the questions correctly and I always don't read enough! ARRGHHH!!!
Intro to Pharm Chem tutes are often exciting, frustrating, annoying and enlightening - all at the same time. My tutor (who is also my Organic Chem lecturer) often throws questions at us, expecting answers from our mouths. He said: Struggling is the best way to learn. So true. I learn so much.
Every week, without fail, he would destroy one of our high school's illusions.
Does HCl form hydrogen bonds? A good high school student would tell you "No" since there are no F, O or N atoms in HCl. What did he say today? He said: "Yes, there are hydrogen bonds BUT it's a weak-ish bond in HCl". Cl is an electronegative atom and thus, able to form hydrogen bonds with other HCl molecules.
See how I struggled with tutes every Friday? Gosh. It seems to me that the more we learn, the more facts that are taught previously is wrong.
Anyhow I sort-of like tutorials. It is a difficult learning process but I am sure it would reward me in a certain way in due course.
Wednesday, March 18, 2009
I know, when people out there hear this, they will go: "This girl doesn't know what she's got!" with disapproval shown on their faces.
But they are never in my position, so they will never know how I feel.
There are times when I feel like breaking away from what I know and just do what my heart thinks is right. Doing what I would like to do.
By accepting the scholarship, I have let go of this important part of me that I could never gain again.By accepting the scholarship, I would have to dedicate my life studying, learning and becoming a pharmacist for a good ten years to come.
I would have to forgo some interests that I previously wished to pursue. A dream that would only remain a dream, unless I could really spend some time to nurture it.
But circumstances now would not allow it. I find that I have less time to pursue my interests; pharmacy is a demanding course.
At times when I feel like a failure at labs and other pharmacy-related stuff, I wonder if I had made the right choice. But now, thank god for making this girl a simpleton - who simply accepts what comes her way.
I now enjoy some parts of the course, mostly because I love to learn (but hate to study).
I have finally become at peace with this choice. :)
Friday, March 13, 2009
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
a storm is warning in the skies,
the end of the world it seems,
you bend down and you fall on your knees,
well get back on your feet ,
yeah,don't look away, don't run away,
baby it's only life,
don't lose your faith,don't run away,
it's only life.
you were always playing hard,
never could let down your guard,
you can't win,
if you never give in,to that voice within,
saying pick up your chin, baby let go of it ,
yeah,don't look away, don't run away ,
baby, it's only life.
don't lose your faith, don't run away,
baby it's only life.(repeat)
take your hesitance, and your self defense,
leave them behind, it's only life,
don't be so afraid of facing every day,
just take your time, it's only life,
i'll be your stepping stone, don't be so alone,
just hold on tight,it's only life,
oh..don't look away, don't run away,
baby it's only life,
don't lose your faith, don't run away,
baby, it's only life (repeat),
it's only life, it's only life,
don't look away...
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Got injured physically and emotionally.
Life is like a roller coster sometimes; it has its ups and downs.
So, today is my down day.
But I will bounce back.
Thanks to those who comforted me today.
Love you guys a lot.
Sunday, March 8, 2009
Went to Wikipedia to look for HIV/AIDS information when I stumbled upon an entry featuring Harriet Tubman.
Excerpt taken from Wikipedia:
Harriet Tubman (born Araminta Ross; c. 1820 – March 10, 1913) was an African-American abolitionist, humanitarian, and Union spy during the U.S. Civil War. After escaping from slavery, into which she was born, she made thirteen missions to rescue over seventy slaves using the network of antislavery activists and safe houses known as the Underground Railroad. She later helped John Brown recruit men for his raid on Harpers Ferry, and in the post-war era struggled for women's suffrage.
I urge all people who ends up reading this post of mine to check out the following Wikipedia page:
*PS: Enjoy the article and remember this wonderful courageous woman.*
Saturday, March 7, 2009
Of course, I need to thank my lovely Mimmy. I asked her for help and she gave me one the most simple recipe I have ever seen and also among the most delicious.
To marinade the chicken pieces:
3 tablespoons of light soy sauce
a little bit of pepper
1/2 tablespoon of sugar
1 tablespoon of thick soy sauce
2 tablespoons of oyster sauce (for extra gravy... yeah!)
Just stir well and keep in the fridge for about an hour (longer also can). But out of time constraints just now, I only marinade the chicken meat for less than an hour.
- cook with 4 tablespoon of cooking oil into slightly hot wok and pour everything inside with big fire. (But I didn't because I was afraid that the chicken meat will turn out hangus.
- stir nicely, put medium low fire and slowly stir.
- if too little gravy, put a little bit of water.
- if want the gravy to thicken, pour a solution of corn flour into the wok and stir.
Haha... these are the instructions handed down from my Sifu Mimmy. Thanks to Mimmy, my housemates sapu everything on the plate. I am very glad right now.. :D
Friday, March 6, 2009
Lately, I have been suffering from an ugly case of rashes. But other than that, I declare - "I am still alive!".
Just had my very first Human Biology 130 practical and tutorial session. We were separated into 2 groups - first group would do the prac first while the second would do their tutorial and an hour later, we swap. So that's how the whole thing goes in Human Bio 130. Before entering the classroom this morning (at 8am, god-damn hour for a class), I was pretty worried that I would get separated from my friends and end up with AG. That's because AG and I are in the top part of the name list while my friends (WH and MI) are in the bottom half. So when one of the tutors asked us to separate into 2 groups, I was confused. He said if there is no one willing to move into his group (each group has a tutor), he would pick names off the list and we could end up in a different group with our friends. I stood up quickly and started to move into his group. Thank god for that because he is a really nice tutor.
So, WH, MI and I ended together in the same group (yay!). And we had our first view of a cadaver in our very first prac. I thought I would faint but I didn't. (No fainting for me is an achievement.) We are banned from taking pictures in the lab - as a sign of respect to the deceased. (so don't expect me to post pictures of that sort here). Not that I would want to take any pictures of that, of course, because if I do, I risk expulsion from uni. And so, the body was stripped down to the muscles and every single organ was left intact. Definitely a preserved body would look different than a living person's, so this cadaver had a brownish-greyish tone to it. My tutor showed us the organs (heart, lungs, intestines etc). He showed us pretty much everything he could think of except the face because:
no. 1: as a sign of respect,
no. 2: unless we are studying face or neck muscles, the face is not essential to our prac
and no. 3: it would be highly shocking to our system if we viewed that in our very first prac.
Thank god for that because I don't think I can handle seeing the face. It seemed that I was pretty lucky since it's very rare that we could see a whole body in the lab. Most of the time, they would cut up the body into sections and only show the sections relevant to our studies at that particular time. All cadavers are donated to the state of WA and are shared by various facilities. Curtin is just one of the few that has access to these, so as to aid learning. And after a period of 3 years, all bodies would be returned to the deceased's family for burial or more commonly, cremation. As students, we are expected to treat the cadavers with respect and care. We are supposed to be gentle with them. Poking them for no apparent reason would incur the wrath of my tutor, I was told. And that, they are quite fragile than they seem, so we should always becareful at all times.
Other than cadavers, there were many other interesting stuffs at the anatomy lab. Plastic models of human organs are a staple (but they are extremely expensive and highly accurate as well). Then, we have the real things such as human bones, that had already been plasticized (or something like that), so they are sterile and we can touch those with no worries. Of course, I didn't touch anything at all. It would be too scary and too much for me to handle. My tutor told us that he expects us to at least take a good look at the cadavers because these will be used in the prac exam as well.
Going to the anatomy lab was definitely a learning experience. It was scary at first, but I think I am doing okay since I didn't faint. At the very least, bio lab is one of those few things that have been going on well for me this week.
*P.S: I really salute those who donated their bodies for scientific studies and learning. It's all thanks to them that health science students like me are able to learn anatomy. I hope that they all will be able to rest in peace in the afterlife.*
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
I guess if there is God in this world, He/She would be deemed unfair. Why? Because He/She made us all differently. I was made differently from others. I wouldn't label myself unique but I am different. Sometimes, so different that I feel like a failure.
In the Pharmaceutics lab today, I screwed up. I thought if I had wrote down steps on how to compound medicines and watched the lab demo video on the Blackboard, I would be fine. But I was wrong. When I was still measuring chemicals for the second compounding session, one person (I don't know if it's a guy or a girl) had already completed all three compounding sessions and left the lab.
I struggled with compounding the different chemicals. I was short of 3ml for the Senega and Ammonia Mixture APF because I didn't realise I had taken 4 layers of gauze instead of 2. Bummer. When almost everyone was done with theirs and already started cleaning up, I had only started on the last compounding. And when I looked over to the place where we put our bags, I already saw Wai Hang, all done and just waiting there for me, I almost died.And when I realised I hadn't taken my photo (which I was supposed to during the lab session) because I was too busy measuring chemicals, I almost cried. I feel like a failure sometimes.And I took a step out of the Super Lab, I felt I need a chair to sit on because my knees were too weak.
In the house I am staying in, I am only close to 5 other people and all of them speak fluent Mandarin. My Mandarin is hopeless. Couldnt't be helped. Should have studied harder last time. Wai Hang was educated in national school (just like me) but she could converse well in that language. I feel like an outsider in this house (two other housemates speak English all the time but they have their own gang, so I can't just mix in).
I am made differently. I hope I can accept this but over and over again, I grapple with this fact; it's so hard to swallow. ~SIGH~