Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Some things never change #2: you've got the wrong person

I was studying together with Syazana and Aymen in the lobby when our lecturer, Dr V approached us. He went on asking us about the possibility of organising extra lessons to help us deal with Pharmaceutics. So, we ended up talking for a bit. And then, Dr. V asked me: "Are you Khoo Chee Shin?"

"No." And I told him my name. It just struck me that with my glasses and my hair tied up, I really looked like her. But seriously, getting mistaken for another person (even here in Perth) really gets on my nerves.

Because, having two sisters studying before me in the same school means I have to respond to THREE different names - two out of which are not mine. Frankly I am sick of this. But I don't have the luxury of not replying.

Sunday, August 28, 2011


264 friends in the list.

But how many of them do I actually consider as friends?

So many and still so lonely.

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

(Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay by Otis Redding

Sittin' in the morning sun
I'll be sittin' when the evening comes
Watching the ships roll in
Then I watch them roll away again, yeah

I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
I'm just sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

I left my home in Georgia
Headed for the Frisco Bay
Cuz I've had nothing to live for
And look like nothing's gonna come my way

So, I'm just gon' sit on the dock of the bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
I'm sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

Looks like nothing's gonna change
Everything still remains the same
I can't do what ten people tell me to do
So I guess I'll remain the same, listen

Sittin' here resting my bones
And this loneliness won't leave me alone, listen
Two thousand miles I roam
Just to make this dock my home, now

I'm just gon' sit at the dock of a bay
Watchin' the tide roll away, ooh
Sittin' on the dock of the bay
Wastin' time

[Ends in harmonic whistling] 

I am sometimes amazed with myself at how I can fall in love with almost any type of music. Lately, I am into old-school soul and R&B. I can connect with this song, even though it was first written and sung in the 60's. At first listen, it seemed nearly boring. But the words speak to me: of being lonely and helpless. The person in this song seems relaxed to the outsider, but he sings of a quiet discontentment with the life he's living. I am just like him. The difference is, I am sitting in front of my computer each day, and not on the dock.

The fundamentals don't change.

Sunday, August 21, 2011

On Writing: Outside looking in

If I don't put this down in words, I risk becoming an insomniac tonight. 

"The Help" is one of my favourite novels. But it is criticised for portraying a white woman as a hero who saves all the other black maids. Huh? Is this the only thing people see when they read the book or watch the movie? What about liberation from societal expectations or the fact that we are essentially human, no matter what our skin colour is? 

Just because Kathryn Stockett is white, she is accused of exploiting the African-American story of discrimination and slavery. Must she confine herself to only write stories about white people? Must all writers write what they know? Where is the challenge in that? Is that even fiction-writing?

Some of us write because we want to find closure; we want answers. Some of us seek to understand what it is like being on the other side of the fence. The only way we can do it is by re-imagining ourselves and trying to write from another person's point-of-view. Now, that is challenging. That is fiction-writing. 

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Death of a Person

blinded by things you see,
deafened by the voices of others,
the flame inside dies
and your inner voice silent.

Friday, August 12, 2011

Base Camp or The Peak?

It was odd. Shelly gave a motivational-ish lecture this morning, when I thought she's going to grill us on more pharmacy law stuff.

"If you stop moving, you stay."

"After you've finished your degree, you will be just at base camp. To get to the peak of Mt. Everest, you need to study more."

Those are some of the things she said. Well, I had initially thought I would be someone who chills out at base camp, with a cup of coffee in hand and make myself comfortable by the fireplace. After the hospital visit, something in me changed. I saw clinical pharmacists at work in Fremantle Hospital. Their work is more in-depth than the average pharmacists; they get to chat with the patients and be involved in organising an appropriate drug regimen. It is more hardcore and challenging. And to be like them, I have to study Masters - at the very least. But I am not big on the idea of writing a thesis and research work.

So, the enjoy life at base camp or enjoy the view from the top of Mt. Everest? I haven't got a clue. Tentatively, it is base camp for me. Maybe after downing too much caffeine, I would head to the peak.

Nothing is set in stone at this point. But this is definitely something worth thinking about.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Placement coordinator: We are not a travel agency

Excitement fills the air. Her speech is halted occasionally by eager hands rising up in the air.

"Can we go interstate?"

"Eastern states?"


I'm talking about pharmacy placements here. It is interesting that Curtin is quite flexible in giving us options - provided it is feasible for them to make such an arrangement with the other party. And it is during times like this when I feel the pressure coming on. Placement is going to happen in about 6 months' time from now. I am going to enter society as a working adult in less than 18 months.

It is scary. It is overwhelming. As much as I abhor working part-time (I am a lazy pig), I am looking forward to placements with mixed feelings. My recent hospital visit is so enlightening. To be able to see the stuff we learnt in uni being put into practice, it makes learning all the more worthwhile. (That said, I am still reluctant to consistently review lecture materials.)

I guess I will still be afraid of what's ahead, but I will venture forward at my own pace.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

*Sigh* *Sigh*

I really don't feel like doing any work. But alas! The deadlines (yes, it's plural) are drawing near. 

Sorry, need to rant a little bit since I overuse Facebook for this purpose.