Saturday, May 24, 2014

Seniors at work were talking about badminton. They wanted more people to join their 'team'. This particular guy - let's call him, T - turned to me and asked, "So, do you play badminton?"

I just laughed awkwardly and said no. I hate to see colleagues outside of work. I have seen them enough hours of a day. "I would rather use the time to sleep," I told him. 

Another senior, E, commented: "You are just like B. She likes to sleep too." Frankly, who doesn't like to sleep?!

T jumped in, "You know that you are not like B." 

At that point, I already knew what he was going to say. He has nothing good to say with his mouth, ever. Always sneering and teasing the freshies on the job. I braced myself for the comment. 

"B has very high metabolism. So it is okay for her to always sleep. But you,... you are not going to stay like this if you do that."

WTF, dude? You just commented on my figure, my weight in front of everyone at work! Mentally, I have been giving you the middle finger whenever I see you. Each time I feel that you have some redeeming qualities, you somehow manage to turn my impression of you 180 degrees again. 

It is tough becoming a young woman. We are always being judged by our weight and our size. I have been on both sides of the spectrum. And it is not pretty. 

My BMI reached 19 after my first year in Perth. I came back to people looking absolutely delighted that I lost weight. "You look amazing!" or "You look thin!" were among the numerous comments I received from relatives. In my mind, I was shouting: "So you thought I looked horrible before?!" And people started to look at my body - almost leering - to see where I had lost the extra fat. It was really an uncomfortable experience. 

And now, on the opposite end of the spectrum, I received judgment on my body size from someone I barely know. I do not live in this planet to impress the likes of you, T. I am going to be myself, just the way I am. If I am going to gain weight, so be it. If I am going to lose weight - pay attention - I DON'T DO IT TO IMPRESS YOU.