Mundane

A senior pharmacist said: "First year of working in outpatient, you feel excited. Everything is new. Second year at outpatient, you feel okay. Third year in outpatient, you will start to wonder: Where is my goal?"

All of the interns just laughed. But what he said is true. There is a pharmacist who has been working there for four years now and things don't seem to change at all. Screening prescriptions, filling them and then dispensing them like a robot.

I don't want to be working like that every day for the next six years. Where is the fun, the excitement? Just looking forward to the next holiday, to the next Saturday, to the next payday.

Musings on starting work

I looked at my seniors from work. They are really young, only a few years older than I. I thought, "This is like school all over again. Except that we are paid to work." But when I paid closer attention, some do have wrinkles around their age, some with wedding bands.

I feel as if I should belong in a classroom or a lecture hall somewhere. Not here in this pharmacy, filling scripts. I feel like a fluke by calling myself a provisionally-registered pharmacist. I don't feel like someone who should be earning a paycheck. Perhaps that is me, trying to grasp with reality.

But each time I return home, I gain a sense of normalcy all over again. This is where I should belong, I thought. This is where I ought to be.

Wake me up when 2019 ends

If I solely wanted to practise pharmacy in Malaysia, then I had came back with regrets in my heart.

I just want to honour the contract made with JPA. To go back on this promise will mean that I have given up on my own character. I don't want that.

Besides, I want to see my family again and be closer to them. I had never thought I like to have them around with me always, but I do enjoy it now.

6 years, I am waiting for you to end. Just like how I wanted to get out of school, out of Intec, out of Curtin. After that, I have no idea what I want to do. I just don't want to commit to anything in the future.