Where are you?

We said our goodbyes so quickly, fooling ourselves that we will meet again someday. Perhaps, and perhaps not. We live in the same country still. But how many of us will actually leave work and meet each other again? Some of us, or maybe none.

So where are you? Your Facebook statuses that I look forward to. Your blog posts that I anticipate even though I could hardly read Mandarin. They are gone, and so are you.

I got lost in the daily conundrum of work and life. Maybe you are too. I keep remembering our frequent chats and meets. Your face, your words were what I see each day. Like a lifetime ago. I keep asking myself this:

Where are you?

I once chastised my sisters for being dependent on my parents' charity. My dad chauffeurs them to the LRT station, while my mom cooks and cleans for them. Partly because I was jealous. I was on my own in Perth for 4 years, renting a house on my own (with two other friends, of course), travelling to placements by bus and cooking meals for myself. It took me nearly an hour to reach my placement sites and my parents didn't really bat an eyelid.

And right now, when I tell people that I live at home and am chauffeured by my mom, I am teased by them. Really?

Well, sorry for living at home. Sorry for having a mom to cook and clean after me. Sorry for letting my mom driving me to and from work. Sorry for being loved. 

You know what? I will not allow your sarcastic comments to affect me. Because I have been in your shoes and I recognise your feelings. Yeah, you are just jealous. You are jealous that I am staying in my own house, in my own room, sleeping in my own bed. Yeah, you are jealous that I am living with my mother while your daughter is so far away in India. 

Think of me as a spoiled child as much as you want. Because I deserve being loved by my parents. And what can your words do to me? 

Nothing. 

Xiao Bao Bei

Little Darling.

That is what my great-aunt called me, up to this very day. She makes me feel special, and for that, she is my one of my most favourite persons in the world.