Old Journal

I rediscovered my old journal, tucked carefully under the clothes in the cupboard. I never thought that it would survive Mom's massive cleaning sprees. It seemed to me that she had helped me save that precious little book of mine.

In the beginning, the journal wasn't meant to be one. It was supposed to be a St. John's Ambulance book, detailing all the songs and rules that members have to abide to. But I ceased to be a member once I graduated from primary school and the book somehow, along the way, became my journal. I poured my hopes, despair and various feelings into it. It absorbed my tears. I doodled in it. My Dad once used it as his Sudoku book. My brother sketched images of robots and dragons in its pages. =.=lll

All in all, it has been with me for the past 9 years - an amazing feat for someone who has a knack for losing things.

This is a Malay sajak I wrote in the journal back when I was 17. Go ahead and laugh if you want to.

Nampakkah engkau
diriku yang sebenar
di sebalik topeng bermuka gembira
senyuman yang palsu
sinar mata yang mengaburi
realiti
Pandanganmu kabur sahaja
matamu terlalu memilih
mungkin telah hampir buta
Di antara engkau dan aku
ada satu
dinding kaca yang kabur
lihatlah dengan teliti
perasaan hatiku
Nampakkah engkau
sekarang?