Ever walked into the library, with the books piled on high all around you? And breathing in the dust they sit, and feeling so alive in it?

For me, choosing a book to borrow (literature, that is - not any other) from the library is like a journey. I am on a journey that knows no destination, but I delight in looking at the sceneries it gives for my senses to feast on.

And today, I found a really good poetry book. More like, it found me – I think. It is ‘Shadowed Dreams: Women’s Poetry of the Harlem Renaissance’ which was edited by Maureen Honey. I feel like sharing two poems from the collection.

I Weep
by Angelina Weld Grimké

- I weep –
Not as the young do noisily,
Not as the aged rustily,
But quietly.
Drop by drop, the great tears
Splash upon my hands,
And save you saw them shine,
You would not know
I wept.


And here’s another one about love.


I Want to Die While You Love Me
by Georgia Douglas Johnson

 I want to die while you love me,
While yet you hold me fair,
While laughter lies upon my lips,
And lights are in my hair.

I want to die while you love me,
And bear to that still bed
Your kisses turbulent, unspent,
To warm me when I’m dead.

I want to die while you love me,
Oh, who would care to live
Till love has nothing more to ask
And nothing more to give?

I want to die while you love me,
And never, never see
The glory of this perfect day
Grow dim or cease to be!

I meet with so many people in my life. They are so dazzling, shining with personalities and strengths to call their own. And all of a sudden, I feel a pang of jealousy, eating up my whole being. Where is this coming from and where is this going? I do not know. I feel so uncertain. So angry. So lost.

And the medicine for this disease comes in many different ways. A chat or two. A reassuring SMS or email. Or simply a karaoke session to heal the broken soul. Whatever it is, I still have to live on, right?


good night Days, good old days
Since the day I wanted to fly away, I promised to become stronger

good night Days, good old Days
Since the day I swore I'd never come back, I've put my memories to rest

ah knock on the Days, good old Days
Though I've come to miss you, I regret that I had pretended to be strong, but
I'm climbing the hill again, so I'll paint my dream on a blue canvas, see you again
Continuing up and down, I'll quietly drop by to see you, see you again

-Fly Away by THYME-
-translation and transliteration by Rizu-chan-


Strum the tune of your existence
And sing that you're here

A new journey is beginning now
Each of the ever-changing seasons
We live through
Gives us wisdom and strength

Strum the tune of your existence
And sing that you're here
Let it ring out into the red moonlit sky

-Re:Member by FLOW-
-translation and transliteration by hikon11-

Life is like vegetables

I think this happened a couple of days ago.

I saw the beautiful  bak choy in a basin of water in the kitchen. The green leafy vege with white stems were too pretty to be eaten.

An hour or so later, my housemate proceeded to cut the bak choy for cooking. She retained the green leafy parts and threw the rest into the bin. I was shocked. It is so wasteful! I thought.

Her explanation? She doesn't like to eat the stems.

Sure, sure... the green leafy parts are soft and nice to eat. But I think the fibrous stem parts are really tasty and they have got nice texture too. After all, the stems are the ones that support the leafy parts. Don't you think that the stems should be worthy of our praise and not discarded into the bin?

Chasing what is hopefully the possible

At the beginning of Week 1, the favourite catch-phrase among lecturers was: 'Keep on top of your workload'. 

My answer to that was: 'Isn't it okay for us to trail behind our workload just a little bit?'.

And now, with Week 4 looming, I realise I have lots of running to do.

JUST LEAVE ALREADY!

Maybe it is that time of the month. Or maybe I am really pissed off. Really, it is only in anime and movies where it is OKAY to be monologuing.

Mahou Tsukai ni Taisetsu na Koto: Natsu no Sora

Translated as: 'Things that are important to a mage: Summer Skies'.

Predictable plot. May be a little slow-paced for some, but I think it is just okay for me. Bland character design.

But!

Gorgeous sceneries. Nice songs - opening, ending and BGM included. :)

The main character is cute, isn't she?

how to mend the crack you can't see? or listen to the voice of a silent plea?

Why I walk fast

Sorry.

I like to walk fast to classes, and it is not because I am used to Laura or Wan Lin's walking speed back when we were in Intec.

For one, I hate to be late to lectures. I like to make it a point to be early in classes. This habit is innate, and so, I have no idea why I am the way I am.

Two, I really hate waiting for people who are late. Not hate. The word is DETEST. This is because of something I experienced as a child. This has a more personal ring to it, so I won't elaborate. The process of waiting for someone is just excruciating. It is like the whole world has abandoned you, forgotten about you.

Three, I like to be ahead of others. When there are so many areas in which I fail miserably, this is the very least I can do to make myself feel better. So there.

And if I am walking faster than you, then sorry. But don't say I never warned you.

I hate MONDAYS!!!

No, seriously - I HATE THEM. It's official.

My Mondays in the first sem are all about lectures, which is all good since I enjoy dozing off in lectures. I am the famous sleepyhead back in Intec after all.

But NO, tutes must be on Mondays! Grrrr! Lots of work to do during the weekend. Take Mol Pharm, for example. 'Prepare a page of notes on sickle cell disease.' WTH. And then there's Pharm Analysis - which is all about chemistry and calculations and I totally sucked in that.

***

On an unrelated note, my bro said that I am hardworking 'cuz I listen to iLectures. Hehe.

"Depression is a cycle."

That was what Jia Mun used to say in her blog. I agree. After a few days of being in that vicious cycle, I could only weather the storm with a half-sane mind.

It is time to move on and get on with the workload of pharmacy course. The workload just doesn't wait for anyone. =.=lll

****

On an unrelated note, the computer classified all my iLecture audio files as 'blues'.
So true, so true.

Becoming Jacys 101

If there is a manual on how to live my own life, things would have been easier. I would not second-guess my own choices, nor would I ponder on things that come – because there is no need to. Because with knowing, come conviction and faith. Because with ignorance, come worry and fear.