Saturday, May 29, 2010

floating

Another SMS from home triggers emotions again. This time it was my eldest sis.

The buried feelings resurface and take form in front of me. They become clearer and I am able to describe them better now.

Lately I feel like I am just floating around.

Walking to lectures, tutorials or labs… buying groceries on my own… cooking for myself after a long day… listening to Australian accent every day, looking at Australian and international classmates from all over the world…

All these sights and sounds have become familiar to me. But it is an uncomfortable familiarity. It is as if I am seeing, but not living in the images I see. I am detached. “This is not my life that I am living,” I thought to myself occasionally.

Sis said this is because I haven’t found a ‘family’ here in Perth. “Is that so?” I wondered. I don’t think she is wrong, but she isn’t entirely right either.

This is a strange situation to be in. However, it isn’t all that bad. I have become a bit ‘un-feeling’… and that is all.

1 comment:

  1. Aww, it'll be okay jacys! I think you miss your family. Especially since your across the ocean from each other. And maybe you don't know where you really belong here in Aussie, but these things take time. Like for me and my bestfriend Deka, our first year of Pharmacy was hard. We mostly stuck together and didn't socialise with anyone else because we felt like outcasts but now I realise half the class feels the same. So, after that it got a lot better.

    So, I'm pretty happy and content. Just give it some time, you'll be oright. :)

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