Personality

I read a very good article in Reader's Digest before.

It said: When you turn up at work with a horrible frown, why does everyone ask you what is wrong in your life? Is it very wrong to be moody for one whole day when for the rest of the year, you are smiling and being kind to everyone else?

I totally agree with this. Whenever I get angry (for example, during the incident described in the previous post), my family would advise me not to feel the way I feel. Let it go, let it slide... etc. I WANT to feel angry, I WANT to feel emo... why must there be restrictions as to how I feel about things? I have tolerated with the rest of the world for 364 days, why can't I be mean for a day? (I meant this day ratio in a figurative way... =P)

I feel like we all need time to be ourselves - not conforming to acceptable standards of behaviour as prescribed by society (or close friends and family members, for that matter). For example, allow me to rant, to complain, to criticise, to give sarcastic or horrible remarks ala Simon Cowell when I need to. Or else, in the end I would die of a high blood pressure due to pent-up anger.

Back at home, I can act anyway I want. Impersonate people... saying "babeh" or "yo" or whatever slang that comes to mind. Or threatening to kiss or hug my bro, and chasing him around with my arms extended out wide for a bear hug... *evil grin*. Or when I get really frustrated at stuffs, I would just unleash a tirade of angry words in a really loud voice. Giving really horrible, sarcastic remarks about things around me - which truly represents my real thoughts. Being really random, such as saying "I love you" to all my family members, hugging my mom etc. In short, I am really capable of being nuts. Haha.

I wish for that kind of freedom here. I wish to sing out loud in my room at the expense of others (who cares about my housemates or neighbours?) or when I get really angry at something/someone, I wish to rant and complain like there's no end to it. Yeah, I tried that once, but my housemates were shocked... Haih. Can't do that ever again.

So I think I demonstrate a different side of me in different environments. I don't know if I even have a definitive personality. I don't think everyone will ever have one. People are so multi-faceted, you know? At times, I would act like a bimbo, spouting out random facts to amaze my siblings (muahaha), acting emo, doing some random acts of craziness or contemplating the complexities of life, death, the afterworld. Yup, that's me.

Therefore, I can't really make a "How well you know me?" quiz on Facebook, because I am clueless about my own personality. I think I would even fail at my own quiz!

PS: Sorry to friends and my eldest sis (if you guys happen to read this) that I scored badly in your quizzes. Haha. I guess I need to know you guys more.